Thursday, November 1, 2007

Birthday Parties that Don't Cause Global Warming

The question used to be "Can Johnny read?" when society's focus was on educating children in the basics. Nowadays, it might be "Does Johnny recycle?". Probably not Johnny, though. In this politically correct environment, there are no male children. When was the last time you read a parenting article where the child was not referred to as "she"? More importantly, she would probably be named something more environmentally-conscious like "Ocean" or "Sky".

When your children get to school, they will be taught about the disappearing rainforest and thoroughly warned that the Earth probably won't be here long enough for them to grow up. But there's no reason to wait until they are school age, you can start scaring educating your children about global warming and living the carbon neutral life while they are yet toddlers.

How about throwing them a low carbon impact birthday party as this Essential Baby article suggests? Just because you had toys as a kid is no reason to pass on your profligate ways to your children. Kids will grow up with a healthy conscience, knowing that you didn't allow them to have those environmentally-damaging, colorful, plastic toys that every other kid on the block and in their pre-school has. No kid wants to be responsible for the destruction of the planet his parents live on.

This eco-friendly cake won't spew smoke from burning candles into the atmosphere

The most frightening thing about this article, is the violence in the language regarding the eco-horror toys that a child receives as presents, the ones that make his parents "cringe". We are told one toy "vomits" a catchphrase (it talks) when you "throttle" it (press a button on its neck). Strangling the toy is the bit that appears to appeal most to the adult author of this article. Being environmentally friendly seems to make people cranky.

How about the parents who made their daughter a play stove out of an old beer carton? Is encouraging the consumption of alcoholic beverages preferable to allowing them to play with plastic toys? I am sure it's alright though, surely they teach her to recycle the bottles. Of course, if they wanted to be totally environmentally responsible, they wouldn't have children at all and stop littering the planet with more pesky humans that will lead to the earth's ultimate demise.

I agree with the idea that kids are better off with toys that do less and require more imagination. Encouraging children to supply the animation and creativity in playtime is greatly to be encouraged. But choosing toys that foster creativity should be for the child's development and not to satisfy and soothe the conscience of adult parents who have already consumed their share of childhood fun.

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